Lord, I want to know why! Why is there so much evil in this world? Why did You allow Sandy Hook to happen? Why were so many innocents slaughtered? I really want to know. A dear young woman sent me a text that evening asking if it was okay if she was really pissed off at God.
I told her I wish I could give her an answer to all those why questions. The best answer I can give is I don’t know. I believe that question has been one asked since the beginning of time. We can ask why did God allow Eve to take that first bite. Isn’t that when we humans first became aware of that thing called evil – and the tragedy at Sandy Hook was precisely that, evil.
So even though I can’t find the answer, I still have this sense pounding away inside of me – why? Okay, I can hear the Lord asking me, innocents have died all through the ages – take a look at the Old Testament stories, and we can read through many of Paul’s letters and determine that there was much slaughter of innocents. We can read any book about the martyrs.
So maybe the answer is Lord give me a shot at all of this. Because maybe I can do the job that needs to be done. I know Lord that this is a hard thing for me – because I will have to re-think all those times when I’ve sworn I have felt your presence, and those times when the only thing I can think of is that you were active and indeed a miracle happened. But Lord I will give it a try.
What? What do you mean I won’t be very good at all of that. Lord, I’m a good person, I have a good heart, and I really do love people. I have done and expect to do good things down the road also. I mean I swear by God I will do the best I can.
Oh, hmm, maybe I’m starting to see a little bit. Why swear by you? Maybe you have a point Lord, maybe I’ll miss one or two incidents. I know all the way over there in Darfar, Africa or the tsunami over in the Indian Ocean a few years back. Yeah, that’s sort of far away and not right there in front of me to grab my attention. Yes, I know there are so many people hurting each other right here in our little neck of the woods. Okay, You’re right, I remember Your Son’s words,
You’re familiar with the command to the ancients, ‘Do not murder.’ I’m telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother ‘idiot!’ and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill. Matthew 5:21-22 The Message.
Okay, you got me there, maybe I do have to admit I won’t be all that graceful with some people. You remember that crazy lady the other day who cut me off at 60 miles an hour and almost caused me to drive into the guard rail. Okay, maybe that is a good point – I really don’t know where to draw the line. Is it only killing innocents or is it really the murder that is in my heart when I’m angry or hurt or frustrated with someone.
Okay, maybe I will just stop now and be still and let you be God. Maybe I can, but Lord, I still weep over all of this evil. Oh, I remember, you know my tears,
You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn
through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,
each ache written in your book. Psalm 56:8 The Message
What? Your Son knows and weeps with us? That’s right, He wept over Lazarus. Thank you Lord, you are weeping right along side of me.
Be blessed and be a blessing.